Friday, January 23, 2015

A slow start requires interaction

Slow and me aren't really friends. I'm a first born, type A, get shit done, fast and efficient, type of woman. I'm a swimmer, a triathlete and a bike racer. It's always been a race against the clock. And myself. Bigger, better, stronger. 

I think when I turned 30 I was in denial. There was no way I was going to slow down. I kept thinking I could pull off amazing without the work required. Or really, I wasn't aware of what 30 means to my body and mind. The work required was no longer the status quo, but so much more. Last summer was a harsh realization of "adult" issues. The health, marriage, waining fitness type of realities. I sometimes find my mind wandering to the past and find it hard to snap back to who I am now. Not dwell upon who I was. 

Yeah, I'm still "Rachee Gordon" as Kyle calls me. But I'm a bit more relaxed these days. Spazz and Ratchet the Hatchet {don't ask} are nicknames of the past. I'm still trying to get used to the slowed down version of me and sometimes it doesn't feel quite right.

I don't drink coffee. My coworkers know I drink too much soda. More out of habit and that 2:00 craving to crawl from my blood sugar crash that comes with with having a later lunch. I didn't used to require stimulants to keep me fast. I used to proclaim, "I'm high on life!"

Last night I went to yoga and used our new to us membership to the climbing gym/yoga studio. {Cross training is better than couch sitting.} The instructor was helpful with her body awareness cues and really spoke to me the entire session. Today I used that strength and length to really enjoy the ocean and each stroke that was given to me. There is something about a calm, crisp and clear ocean for a first light cove swim that forms clear, positive thoughts. And a bright smile. Jake can tell you, there is always a smile smeared on my face during those swims.  

I'm not sure why, but the struggle each morning to get out of bed is real and it's the worst it's ever been. It's a fight with my mind and excuses fly out like a newspaper hot off the press. But, I've never once regretted getting up. Upon experiencing and completing the morning activity, I'm always refreshed or trashed, but totally satisfied that I made the effort to move. So, why does the mind play games every morning, telling me my bed is much better? Stay. Be warm. Rest your eyes. 

Get up! Move! Love! Smile! Swim, bike, run, stretch...

**********

The activities that I've gravitated towards haven't necessarily been a team effort scenario. A race for the clock usually involves others, but not always towards a group effort. Individual performance is paramount. Here's where I think I've been going at it all wrong. Swimming is individual, but when did I have a solo practice? I laugh at my solo swims with great trepidation, knowing I don't have the drive to push myself. It's others who have always pushed me to be better {knowing or unknowing}. Triathlon is individual, and I mostly train alone.

And I wonder why motivation is lacking. 

I realize I need human interaction. The distractions of our daily lives have pulled me away from the things I love most. I find myself busier with back office stuff at work. Or ignoring my husband while I admire the 15th "like" on Instagram. 

That's not who I am, nor who I want to be. That's where I need your help. If you are still reading, you are either a) my mom, b) bored/distracted at work or in bed, or c) a friend who cares what the heck I've been up to. Either way, I need you to help me be accountable. Yell {or kindly remind me} to get off my phone. Invite me to ride! {currently not taking run invitations.} Lets climb, be yogis, drink wine, make a bonfire, enjoy the sunset {on my day off}. Let's race. 

The thing is, I don't want to slow down. I used to climb 3x a week in Minnesota, with friends who got me. I used to be more involved with the Tri Club of San Diego, volunteering and working out with others. I used to be the primary bike fitter at work. All of those experiences got me to who and where I am today. I don't necessarily need to try and recreate those activities and experiences, but I realize they all have human interaction as the common thread.

I chose not to have children so we can have the freedom to be fast. To be me. {Among MANY other reasons.} I promised my husband I wouldn't slow down. I just need others to push me harder, faster, longer, or to just get out of bed! I need that threat of getting dropped. Or the challenge to drop you. I need that date on the calendar. And maybe, those magnets in my bed will become a little less strong. 

So. If you want me to be your training partner, I'm here for the taking. I don't have a coach or a plan. I'm more than willing to join your route, your ride, your gym, your sunset view, your happy hour place. Please join my rides, our climbing gym, meet me at Pizza Port, Wonderland or the La Jolla Cove. All invites welcome, fast or slow. Anything is better than not moving. 

Interact. 

Email me for my phone number: rachel.anne.wills@gmail.com

Let's play. 

4 comments:

The Hippie Triathlete said...

This is good Rachel, really good. And bold. I can identify with so much. "Currently not taking run invitations."--hilarious. I have 2 Saturdays left to ride long and leisurely. Let's do it.

Judi Carbary said...

So honest Rachel. You are so brave to put it out there so everyone knows where u r at! I'm sure u will have lots of triathletes wanting to train with u. Motivation? Write a weekly training plan and just do it! Once u r out there your good feelings will just take over.
Judi

Lisa23 said...

Maybe you should consider joining Groove Tri. They seem to be at your level and always doing really fast stuff together! see Julie or Leslie about it.

Jennifer Yake Neuschwander said...

Rachel...Say it 10 x fast...Faster at 40, faster at 40, Faster at 40. Seriously. My first two mentors in this sport Julie and Elizabeth. I don't think you are slowing down. I think you are just rebooting.