Saturday, June 22, 2013


This isn't easy. Life's not fair. Only the good die young. So many thoughts and fears come pouring to my mind, yet I can't find the right words to convey my emotions involving Jackie.

The So Cal cycling community experienced great tragedy on Tuesday as a fellow cyclist, a wife, a fighter and a friend crashed at the velodrome and sadly, lost her life. In doing so, through donated organs, she gives the hope of life to six others.

Tuesday was not much different than any other. A day off as usual for me. I had a big east county ride with Julie in the morning, a foot doc appointment in the afternoon and a pedicure to follow. Kyle and I decided to head to the track that evening to partake in the cheering festivities of TNR.

That wasn't easy. Life's not fair. Crashing at the track is rare. People bounce back.

I didn't know how to react. I was restless on Tuesday night. I cried. I was up, down and around. Enough about me. I couldn't stop thinking about her husband. About her parents. About how they aren't supposed to be the ones saying goodbye. Kyle and I visited her on Wednesday and her dad told me in a tearful hug, to never let her ride alone, to ride with her, always.

Oh, she'll be there. She is here.

Today was her memorial ride {There will be another one July 4}; I had signed up for the pier to cove swim race, so I opted out of the ride and decided I'd swim for her. I think she was sitting on my back the entire swim - my lats were SORE by the end! I ended up 4th woman, and 11th OA and was happy with the swim. I usually am so focused on technique, body position and heading while swimming, but today she kept my thoughts on her.

I feel a bit selfish. Like I wish I would've known her better. I wish we would've had more interactions this year. She was new to the cycling community, but in her short stunt, she was a HUGE presence and an advocate for woman's cycling. She'd crashed before and gotten back up to race again. She was one of those girls I thought I'd get to know better next year when I switch back to cycling after this tri focused year. She was one of those girls, you won't forget.

Oh Jackie. Your smile and heart will not be forgotten. We will ride on.

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