{love} and [hate]

Running. I love to hate it. I have so many reasons. I'm not fast enough. Not competitive enough. It "hurts" to much. I hate pounding. It's too cold. It's too hot. It's not social enough. Okay, enough of the excuses.

Running. I hate to love it. I have so many reasons. I'm seeing {large} improvements. I'm getting faster. I love the "hurt." It feels good to be done. Accomplishment. Personal bests. It is social. Fitness. Confidence.

So as you can see, running is quite the emotional struggle. And it's always a physical struggle. And mental? We won't even go there.

So what keeps me going? Well this view isn't too shabby. Being back in OB is great. The ocean is a couple of warmup blocks away and this is my regular view for the short runs. I get to run past where Kyle and I got married. This "winter" thing in San Diego isn't too shabby sometimes.

I was home for Christmas with a big run block planned, since [obviously] I couldn't ride in northern MN over Christmas break. haha. So I ran. I got home late Christmas eve. Woke on xmas morning and had family time opening the presents. Eating the delicious and infamous mom's homemade carmel rolls. 3 of them. And then running. 6 miles with the brother. Made him puke. Might have been due to his diet of beer on xmas eve, and beef jerky/cinnamon roll/oj breakfast, combined with a rather thick Gu at mile 4.5 - classic.

love you mom. it's a good thing i don't make it home very often, or I'd have to run even more miles!!

brother love! was psyched he wanted to join me!!

yes, there was a bit of snow on our run. be glad i didn't take a pic of rob's aftermath

crazy free lightshow in Duluth, MN

#2 run was an epic birthday run. 18 degree weather, 3 degrees with windchill. 12 miles on the docket. FML. Clothing list: Noko's warm running tights, smartwool thick snowboard socks, smartwool baselayer, nike longsleeve tech shirt, hat, neck warmer, light running gloves. Ipod. Waterbottle. It wasn't enough. Ran to my friends' parents house and took a break at mile 5 for saran wrap around the belly. I thought I'd be the only crazy person out. Nope. Saw a high school-ish age girl running in capris and a cotton long sleeve!! Is she crazier?! YES!

doggy love. sharing the couch with little miss Lady. quality time catching up on  not so quality tv.

#3 Lake of the Isles run with triathlete buddy Nordica. Super crazy day in MSP visiting friends before an evening flight. Parents were chauffeuring me around all day and dropped me at her house in the evening for a quick 5 mile run around the lakes with her tri buddy training for St. George [Who signs up for St. George IM living in a cold place, doing actual "winter" training?! Craziness]. Anyway, finished the run, took a 2 min shower and got a ride to the airport and hopped on the plane home.

cousin love! Harper loving the facetime camera on my iphone. super cute.

Back in San Diego, 2012 has been filled with a very balanced training plan. 3-4 runs, 2-3 bikes. 2ish swims a week. Not super intense, nothing crazy, just putting in the work and getting it done. And I got through a dark spot last week and made it out alive today.

recovery. noon masters. shine. love.

Ran my 13.1 personal best as a solo training run before work last weekend. Noko and Erin have been super helpful, offering to run with me even though I'm much slower than they are.

new shorts always help the motivation to get out the door and run. birthday present from Erin

It hasn't been perfect. I've missed out on a bit. I haven't been quite as diligent as the IM plan. But I'm rolling with the strides [literally] and having fun doing it. Racing in a week. Carlsbad half marathon. I'm freaking nervous. Seriously, Rachel? I think I just dread toeing the line of a race knowing I won't be finishing anywhere near the top. Boohoo. I am a competitive person. And Sunday is all about being internally competitive and driving myself to hopefully a PR. It's about gaining confidence for Panama.

uh yeah. no explanation needed. EARNED!

I got my flight to Panama today!! Woohoo! It's really happening!! TriBikeTransport canceled their Panama service. I got a full refund...and a free future trip for my bike that doesn't expire! [hmm where to next?!] But that means Kermit will have to travel with me. Luckily Brendan has an SUV and is able to cart me and kermy around. [Thank You!!]

Even better news? I got to talk to Kyle last night for 16 minutes. I miss him so much. Even from afar, he's been super supportive of me. It's hard to think we aren't even halfway through this deployment, but I such is life. Right now, we are putting together his dream bike. And as much as I love Kermit and Cookie Monster, I'm having HUGE bike envy right about now. Looking forward to piecing it together and getting it built up for him. #bikenerds.

Feeling a renewed sense of happiness right now.